Mediation 1

The Mediator urged me to look at the process–the progress we had made.  A few little agreements.  Ok.  But what about the mean comments, what about the violations of the agreements, what about the threats to hide behind BigDaddyLegalSystem’s skirts?  I need to hold on to those things.  I have to monitor them.  The intrusions into trust.  My boundaries crushed underfoot like the grass on the football field after a game.  I might need to grab me a lawyer too.  The situation is unstable, likely to topple over and fail.

“Tiffany,” the Mediator soothed, “ you can stand up for yourself, but reply out of love and strength.”  I was just proud of myself that I even wanted to stand up.

Love?  I snorted.  Strength?

Well,  maybe strength means I am not scrambling, not desperate to hold on to my dignity because I am comfortable that it is there already. I am not fighting for my dignity; I already have it. It is my choice to own it.

Baby steps of progress. Lower levels of hostility, though, mean progress can totter forward, unsteady, faltering tiny steps.

4 Comments

  1. Hoo-baby. “Love and strength” can be the hardest things to offer, even when you *know* that’s where you live in your ordinary, everyday life. Good for you, for striving in that direction – regardless of the daunting level of difficulty.

    XO.

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