“But mooooom, you are always so busy,” whined The Professor. I could feel the hair on the back of my neck stand up (not really, but I could feel my hackles-whatever those-are rise up). Defensiveness on my lips, I lectured, “I have to work, the mortgage is due, the electric bill is due……” I knew it was not the right thing to say, I knew there were other emotions behind the complaint but I couldn’t quite access them.
I brought it up to the Mediator.
“Say, Tiffany, say, I am glad you expressed that to me. Let’s find some time for just you and me with NO INTERRUPTIONS. Just you and me. I will put you down on the calendar and we will spend a half hour together with no brothers, no phone calls, no distractions.”
Scared, he is looking for assurance. He wants to know that he is still a priority and in the mad scramble for whatever drives us in life, he still MATTERS. He won’t outgrow that need either. It’s what we all want. We all want to know we MATTER. We all want to be someone’s priority.
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