Mattering: Talking to My Kids Part 3

“But mooooom,  you are always so busy,” whined The Professor. I could feel the hair on the back of my neck stand up (not really, but I could feel my hackles-whatever those-are rise up). Defensiveness on my lips, I lectured, “I have to work, the mortgage is due, the electric bill is due……” I knew it was not the right thing to say, I knew there were other emotions behind the complaint but I couldn’t quite access them.

I brought it up to the Mediator.

“Say, Tiffany, say, I am glad you expressed that to me.  Let’s find some time for just you and me with NO INTERRUPTIONS.  Just you and me.  I will put you down on the calendar and we will spend a half hour together with no brothers, no phone calls, no distractions.”

Scared, he is looking for assurance.  He wants to know that he is still a priority and in the mad scramble for whatever drives us in life, he still MATTERS.   He won’t outgrow that need either.  It’s what we all want.  We all want to know we MATTER. We all want to be someone’s priority.


Today, let someone know they matter to you.

Other posts on same topic:

Wordsmithing the Reasons

Talking to My Kids Again



  1. Unfortunately, kids don’t want to be “penciled in” on the calendar. They want you now, and they want you always. And they always want you now when you are in the middle of something else. Come to think of it, my cat is a lot like that. Well, nevermind. So here’s the deal. If you had a million dollars, would you give it to the electric company, the person on the phone, the TV, or to your kids? Time is the most valuable commodity you have–more than your million dollars. You can always make another million dollars. Nobody can make time. So who gets that most valuable thing?

    1. Oh I agree. If someone is willing to give you their time, you must matter to them. And it gets more valuable as there is less of it, ie aging….I mean maturing.

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