The Bottom of It

The time has come.  I can see not only the bottom of the bank account, but the thread in the stitches holding the seams together.  Acceptance of my lone-ranger-mom status has come. I am no less responsible for myself and my boys than I was before, yet more so.  The illusion of a safety net torn away.  I must pull on my boots and get walking, limp spaghetti energy level or not.

There are a lot of experts out there to tell a person how to go about reinventing a life.  It is still an individual process.  Cookie cutter how-tos work for gingerbread men, not flesh and blood, living-breathing women, no matter how much the Gingerbread Man wanted to escape cookiedom.  I am a single, homeschooling, business-owner,  40 something woman and mother of 4 boys; I will have to custom tailored a plan.

So I marinate.  And think.  Write lists. Draw pictograms and visuals.  Read social media networking tweets and blogs. My bedside table is stacked with books like

Writer Mama by Christina Katz

Crush it by Gary Vaynershuk

Guerrilla Learning: how to give your kids a real education with or without school by Grace Llewellyn

The New Global Student : Skip the SAT, save thousands on Tuition, and Get a Truly International Education by Maya Frost

Simple Screenprinting by Annie Stormquist

Art Cloth: A Guide to Surface Design for Fabric by Jane Dunnwold

During the day I read Abraham Lincoln’s World by Genevieve Foster, Beatrix Potter and English from the Roots Up aloud, to the boys.  At night I read www.chrisbrogan.com to myself and try to figure out how to edit my profile on Google plus.

It’s the filling of the bucket.

The reeducation of a reinventor.

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